if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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