I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
time to smoke my breakfast
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
