Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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