69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Randomize
