Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
