Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
