I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I accidentally burped into my bong.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
