Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
