Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
