Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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