Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize