Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
