Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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