I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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