I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize