Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
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