remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
