I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
