weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
