Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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