I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
