he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
What a dumb baby whore.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Randomize
