I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
