Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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