so that wasnt chicken after all
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Randomize
