I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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