Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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