It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
