dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
This is my gift to your gina
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
