His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
