is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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