I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
