I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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