just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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