yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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