So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Randomize
