My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Is her dick bigger than yours?
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
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