I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
