It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
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Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
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I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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