i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
