Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
