My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize