SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
