ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse