Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(847): View more from Illinois

All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg

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(847): All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg http://tfl.nu/5dma

Replies (3) Good night (1324) Bad night (1750)
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(606): View more from Kentucky

Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.

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(606): Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier. http://tfl.nu/kkf1

Replies (16) Good night (2051) Bad night (673)
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(443): View more from Maryland

a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?

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(443): a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy? http://tfl.nu/2h5u

Replies (32) Good night (855) Bad night (3403)
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(303): View more from Colorado

Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.

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(303): Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart. http://tfl.nu/j609

Replies (9) Good night (1659) Bad night (4418)
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(404): View more from Georgia

hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.

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(404): hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma. http://tfl.nu/dkbg

Replies (38) Good night (4559) Bad night (7558)
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(973): View more from New Jersey

So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter

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(973): So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter http://tfl.nu/eba3

Replies (36) Good night (2147) Bad night (5800)
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(312): View more from Illinois

I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird

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(312): I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird http://tfl.nu/vra1

Replies (3) Good night (1444) Bad night (656)
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(512): View more from Texas

You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.

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(512): You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you. http://tfl.nu/zer9

Replies (16) Good night (3322) Bad night (804)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.

(1+44): View more from

When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.

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(+44): You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man. (1+44): When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree. http://tfl.nu/esvb

Replies (9) Good night (1767) Bad night (1164)
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(907): View more from Alaska

You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now

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(907): You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now http://tfl.nu/vnkw

Replies (7) Good night (1271) Bad night (604)
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home

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(617): Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home http://tfl.nu/toow

Replies (2) Good night (520) Bad night (1055)
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(479): View more from Arkansas

There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.

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(479): There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell. http://tfl.nu/h1ye

Replies (5) Good night (875) Bad night (597)
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(253): View more from Washington

If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.

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(253): If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs. http://tfl.nu/90kb

Replies (1) Good night (980) Bad night (427)
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(678): View more from Georgia

The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny

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(678): The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny http://tfl.nu/ejq7

Replies (5) Good night (408) Bad night (778)
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(847): View more from Illinois

It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.

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(847): It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later. http://tfl.nu/lbnp

Replies (0) Good night (634) Bad night (341)

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