I got chris browned last night
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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