Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
