I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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