Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I am one with the molecules
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
