i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
porn star boner night. come get it.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
