My boss' voice literally gives me gas
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Randomize
