Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
