Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Randomize
