Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
You're my little dorito
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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