When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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