maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
And then he peed in my hair
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