On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
i want to swaddle you in tequila
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
