Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize
