I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize