i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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