The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
